As much as I write about my hardheaded, hot-tempered Artemis warrior archetype, I have an equally powerful introverted Hestia archetype who craves peace, solitude, and spiritual growth. Hestia always wants to be at home away from the outer world, away from people. She finds spirituality and meaning out of the home. She is very salient in my life and always has been.
This goddess is my rejuvenating life force. Time spent with her is like getting the best night of sleep. She is the reason I love morning journaling, rearranging the furniture to bring new life into the home, and cleaning the whole house from top to bottom first thing Saturday morning to welcome positive energy for the weekend. I made her very happy working from home full-time during shelter in place. It was a haven from the overstimulating and overwhelming work environment that I was subjected to prior to the pandemic.
If I don’t give her enough time at home, I experience inner turbulence. Too much socializing and busyness drains my highly sensitive and introverted goddess. I’m a delicate creature who needs 9 hours of sleep, 2 hours of me-time in the morning, and hella time throughout the week for my extensive feminine practice, which of course mostly takes place at home.
I love my community of people, but when Hestia is feeling strong in my body, I can disappear for days on end and be perfectly content with minimal contact with others. Thankfully I have many extroverted friends who often extend the invitation to hang out so that I don’t neglect my other archetypes who are chatty and crave to be seen. It’s a constant battle of goddess energies, y’all–imagine a bunch of drag queens competing for the spotlight!
Hestia is also the source of my spiritualism, self-reflection, and rich inner life. During periods of my life when I abandoned my spirituality, I felt a sad emptiness that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I silenced her, and we both suffered. My logical archetype was busy getting a graduate degree, checking all the career boxes like a do-gooder, and being as non-religious as possible (growing up in a stifling religious home will do that to you).
Rediscovering my spiritual side felt like coming home to myself, and it felt incredible. I stopped anxiously planning my weekends and instead spent alone time in the redwood forest every Saturday for months.
“The pursuit of wholeness is really a kind of circling closer and closer through different meanings, different voices. One never arrives, yet gets a better and better idea of that which is at the center.”
The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.
Due to a very difficult (and ongoing) adjustment of returning to the office the past couple of months, my introverted goddess has started to feel neglected. Hestia is not known for expressing anger and frustration, but I could feel her knocking around in my body. Even after returning home to reclaim my evenings and weekends, I was not doing enough to acknowledge her presence and her pain.
So I recently visited Hestia through my inner archetypal dialogue practice, a way of communicating with my inner goddesses. I saw a beautiful woman with two long black braided pigtails and crystal blue eyes. I ugly cried and extended my most heartfelt sympathy to her because I know that she pines to be at home. After profusely apologizing, I held a space for her and listened.
I was reminded of how strong she is. Not a fragile flower, but an intricate root system you can’t see underground. I made her a promise–I pledge to seek peace and quiet when she needs it and to visit her more often. She seemed cool with that.
I’m so thankful to have discovered my dialogue practice. I have very different but equally present goddess energies that influence my actions, values, and involuntary behaviors. They really do take turns making an appearance. I’ve come to appreciate and understand myself on a whole new level since acknowledging their distinct personalities and giving them quality one-on-one time.
When they thrive, I thrive.