I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
Last month I got married to my favorite person in the entire universe. Friends and family flew in from all over the country to come celebrate with us. It was spectacularly magical.
I’m not a show-y gal, so we got married at the county clerk’s office and held a small party. But it was everything I wanted.
I feel so full of love inside because I know this is the most important development in my life. It outweighs everything else. There’s no business success or monetary success that could come close to finding true love with someone you adore spending every day with.
Seriously, we’re both home bodies working mostly from home together, and I love seeing his face every minute.
We’re pretty darn cute ❤️
Since our return to normal life, I’ve been feeling a shift in energy that’s been calling my attention.
For the past year, I’ve been having a chronic pain episode of epic proportions that’s tremendously interfering with the quality of my life.
So I’ve decided to prioritize getting to the root of this problem right now, for as long as it takes. I’m taking my coaching business down a notch so I can focus on treatments and slowly integrating a softer, safer body into the rest of my life.
I’m seeing a body worker twice a week who’s helping me work through (and finally understand) the layers of armoring in my musculature that I’ve been holding for a damn long time.
I’m a high performance anxiety type.
I can remember feeling the stress of school and performing well as early as middle school. Making good grades, getting into college, and jumping through the hurdles to get a good job always felt like life vs. death in my body.
The pressure to be perfect across the board was conditioned into me somatically.
I’ve been learning how to relax my mind and attention over the past few years, but my body is still holding on to old patterns.
So I’m throwing everything I got at the issue. I feel hopeful for the first time that this is all figure-out-able.
It can feel scary or even “wrong” to take a step back from your primary focus. I blame societal conditioning for the reason I tend to feel unworthy the minute I want to take a break from work.
Which is why this is more important than ever. I’ve been on a journey to un-learn that bullsh*t since the day I quit my 9-5 job. And this year is just another layer to that work.
Remember that if you ever start to feel a tinge of burnout—whether it’s lethargy, lack of motivation, or loss of hope—there is nothing “wrong” with you.
You just need a break honey.
Or a change of pace.
Or a reshuffling.
But that heavy feeling inside? No, that’s not your personal problem. You don’t need to “fix” yourself. Admittedly, I started to worry that my dissipating motivation recently is a “me problem.” But my amazing husband has reminded me that it’s OKAY to feel this way.
A loss of drive or drop in energy is a signal from your body. You just need to listen to it. Honor it. And do what your body needs from you.
Let’s all remember that.
You are not alone.
I’m right f*cking there with you.