Taking Back Sundays
A number of months ago, I realized I had a bad with relationship with Sundays.
This came at no surprise, but it was the first time I realized I had some choice in the matter.
Days of the week are a total construct, but something about Sunday felt like the energy had been sucked out of it.
I spent a lifetime feeling deflated upon waking up Sunday mornings because I knew the weekend was already half way over. Tomorrow meant returning to school or work.
I also associated it for a long time with the fundamental Christian church I spent my teenage years in—a place that promoted alienating and hateful practices.
So last year I decided that I wanted to reclaim Sundays. I wanted to dissociate the old crap from this perfectly, innocent day, so that I could actually fucking look forward to it.
Knowing I had the power to do so, I got my partner to agree to start the day off with me at our favorite coffee shop in town to get a donut—a small event that my brain could get excited about.
From there, I worked through the icky, heaviness about Sundays that I felt in my body. There was a lot of noticing and sitting with feelings of discomfort that I can only describe as a gross, repelling, void.
(Wow, real dark Krissy)
But I discovered a lot.
Stillness and nothingness can be triggering to me (Sunday can be pretty boring, no?). There’s a purposelessness to this day that my brain didn’t know what to do with. And you may have noticed that I’m a very purpose-driven person.
I also anticipated and dreaded the Monday morning rush—though I left that behind with my 9-5 last year. It’s like a hangover or remnant of my past.
I’m still working through many of these patterns, but I’ve come a long, damn way.
Sundays feel pretty amazing now, so I’ve turned my focus towards taking back Monday.
If you grew up having to get up butt-early to go to school and be at your dumb desk job by 8am or 9am, then of course you’d quickly grow to hate it.
But I’ve chosen a different life now. So I get to decide how I want to be in a relationship with Mondays.
I refuse to schedule meetings or commitments in the morning. I leave it completely open-ended so I can breath, journal, go on a walk, and just do whatever feels right.
I’m retraining my mind-body and changing my relationship to days that never deserved to get the short end of the stick.
I say all of this to say that, yes, it matters.
It’s my life.
It’s your life.
Why should we give up an entire day to old patterns? We deserve to feel good. We deserve to feel how we wanna feel any damn day of the week.
That is all.